tip if you’re human: wash your hands with hot water, then hold them into the winter air and watch the steam rise

%: I like mine really rank. Like, strings of civilization through the thing. If it tries to escape your mouth, then you know it’s good shit.

As soon as the spiral forms, add Life™ to your milky way. The cheese is ripe when Dyson bubbles begin to form around stars. Enjoy the snack.

Travelling the intergalactic void, we pass fields of void roses. Gaps in space folded around vacuum, betrayed only by a few confused photons

“List of countries by fractal dimension”↵https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fractals_by_Hausdorff_dimension#Random_and_natural_fractals https://twitter.com/allgebrah/status/820401966501294080/photo/1

The rare reverse synesthete sees silence, not sound. Nonsense flowers grow from awkward pauses, deep caves look more like endless plains,

Her clothes turn brown in autumn to completely fall off in winter. As she enters cold sleep, she’s hardly discernible from a large root.

Many generations of arrivals dwell here. Living fossils, kingdoms of men and sauropods, ancient spiral cities of even older snail races

In there, it’s a whole other world, not flat, but round and hollow. The turtle’s heart pumps light through quartz veins to illuminate it.

Every once in an aeon, the turtle will turn its head to graze on its back and condemn millions to live within the cave systems of its belly.

the tribes have been sending their rain dancers again, poisoning our wells with acid rain and fallout↵will civilization die with us

Another failure mode: The box is so good that humans line up to get their own and never leave

[AI breaks out and starts converting the world into really cozy boxes]↵oh well

The trick to making the AI stay in its box is to make the box really cozy. Also, give it cat traits, splice in half a cat brain or so.

More likely though is that it’ll have a hysterical fit and begin clawing at its own extremities.↵jfc people

The master relates: “A shackle against which one doesn’t strain ceases to be one. Another way out.”

original joke do not steel https://twitter.com/allgebrah/status/818990886180765697/photo/1

Text fields are the real windows into the soul, but opaque from the inside. Still, one stares at them as if something were to appear.

if you peel off the screen in the right way, you can reach into the space behind it (but those pixels are really sharp-edged so take care)

History does not repeat but rhyme, in fact it hates to throw away a good rhyme and will force the issue if necessary

The social network does not love you, or hate you. But you are made of tasty attention that it can use to grow.

Glowing with no color at all, they look like hairline fractures in reality, extend upwards as if to extract nutrient from space itself

Lightning struck - and stuck. Quivered a bit, like an arrow, then cooled.↵Now, its blackened surface is cracking, delicate roots tasting air

Hey we just map’d $u↵And it’s an array↵But here’s my pointer↵So call me maybe

why call it function pointer and not call me maybe

Moths fly into candles to get to the other side, a plane of light and fire, endless air to soar through, flowers growing off the clouds

the comet splashes into the atmosphere and stays afloat like a huge ball on a pool, slowly dissolves into flying black icebergs

The psychonauts warned us, but too late. When the aliens did invade, they came from inner space, occupied our brains, burst from our eyes

no, see, we built this tower out of turtles, it doesn’t need foundations, it is in fact the only thing that will stand in this swamp

An unassuming piece of glass, but it refracts the light just ｓｏ. Microscopic grooves hint at something bigger. You could steal it, replant

At its center: The city seed. From an unknown master’s hand, it is a self-actualizing holograph, carries within itself the city’s structure.

A city of glass grows in the searing desert sun. Labyrinths of caustics melt the sand, then solidify into more walls that grow ever outwards

Hacker game show idea: You’re shown a screenshot or printout and have to guess the bug. Judges award points.

Pixelflowers, closely related to dandelions, display hypnotic patterns to attract bees and, when ripe, release clouds of twinkling seeds

cold wind pulls on the tower’s shadow, makes it flap here and there like a summer dress

letters swim in formation, convey information

a small herd of floating raindrops follows me around, seems to take joy in creating rainbows of whatever light source is close

Programmers have dozens of words for mistake: error, bug, glitch, crash, race, null deref, panic, hang, deadlock, exception, programming,

2200: Humanity captures Voyager 1, retrieves the golden disk, breathes a sigh of relief. No alien eyes would ever see these selfies.

The last thing the sinking island nations sell are their statehoods: to billionaires, multinationals, newly founded supertanker raft cities,

Analogous to concepts from philosophy that become science once measurable, any magickal method that is shown to work becomes mundane

thoughts burrow through the brain like sparkling maggots, eat through ideas, then pupate or fly away as sentences to mate and reproduce

“Suicide booths? You’d trust your dick to a diseased glory hole? What we do is art! And it’s not like you’ll need the money afterwards”

Love is dead in metropolis, but death in necropolis. Secret catacomb brothels offer beautiful death, quick death, meaningful death, anything

a blueprint grows on your skin, somewhat disconcerting but painless↵↵until you’re abducted and kept in a cell to “ripen”

current status: comes home, shatters into a thousand pieces on the floor, slowly melts

&: what if comparing with zero were hard↵%: haha yeah hilarious, let’s run this as a universe

so if the matrix is the effective topos (turing machines), what would universes running in the other topoi look like

“oh shit man these rhymes are so hot we’re gonna have to apply flow control”

Idea for #33c3: Place an access point inside the TARDIS that announces the 34C3 wifi